Opening the scarlet closet
First published in LOTL, December 2006
©Katrina Fox
It's time for the lesbian community to embrace the sex workers among us, writes Katrina Fox.
In 1987, US author Joan Nestle wrote "Whores, like queers, are society's dirty joke" in her essay 'Lesbians and Prostitutes: An Historical Sisterhood' before going on to encourage an alliance between the two. Unsurprisingly her pro-sex-worker stance landed her in hot water with the radical feminists at the time.
Nearly 20 years on, post-sex-positive feminism and lipstick lesbian chic, and despite mainstream's current celebration of raunch culture, little, it seems, has changed in the public's perception of sex workers and particularly whores. And while the lesbian community has to some degree accepted, if not embraced other aspects of sexual expression such as BDSM and bisexuality, many dykes still have a problem with sex workers in their midst.
"Lesbians can react very powerfully and often in a negative way [to sex workers]," says 21-year-old Angel, a Sydney-based private sex worker, recalling an incident that took place at a women-only event earlier this year. "There was this incredibly cute butch there who was very attracted to me and made it patently clear when, barely 10 minutes after we'd been introduced, she swept me up into a clinching, snogging embrace. After a while I went to get a drink. When I got back, it was like a different person had taken her place. She'd shrunk into herself, wouldn't look me in the eye, closed her body language off. I asked her what was wrong. She told me her ex-girlfriend had just told her what I did for a living and she didn't think very much of it."
This 'sex worker phobia' among lesbians is not uncommon, as Sera Pinwell, a 41-year-old semi-retired prostitute from Canberra can attest to. "I was told by one friend that I wasn't a 'real lesbian' because of my work," she says. "I was verbally attacked quite viciously by a posse of Sheila Jeffreys' disciples at a talk of hers when I objected to being portrayed as a mindless, damaged unit. I then went to being described as a collaborator in my own oppression and an evil pornography apologist. I half expected them to tattoo '666' on the back of my skull!"
For many women, coming out as a lesbian is enough of a challenge in its own right, but queer sex workers are doubly marginalised, often experiencing homophobia from other sex workers and sex worker phobia from other lesbians. Serena Mawulisa, 31, is the communications officer for national sex worker organisation Scarlet Alliance. She argues that attitudes such as those espoused by Jeffreys and her ilk have made lesbian, feminist and women's spaces unsafe for sex workers. "By restricting the diversity of women and perspectives that get heard in feminist space, feminist thought is less rich as a consequence," she says.
Pinwell goes further. "Some lesbian feminists have a lot of vested interest in silencing the voices of sex-positive lesbians and lesbian hookers. They don't want to hear that we are not damaged collaborators, because it would undermine their whole world view of sexual politics, and many of them have made a career out of their rhetoric."
Some of the common misconceptions about sex workers cited by all three women include the notion that prostitutes are drug-addicted losers with no work skills who hate men and hate their job so it damages their self-esteem; they can't possibly be 'real lesbians' if they have sex with men; they're degrading and disempowering themselves.
In fact, while it's true that sex work is not always a positive experience for some women, especially those forced into it via the 'sex slave' market, the reality is usually far different for the majority of sex workers, who choose to come into the industry for varying reasons.
Angel, ironically enough, answered an advert in the back of LOTL four years ago for mistresses at a BDSM parlour before branching out on her own; Pinwell got a job in a brothel at the age of 19 after the birth of her daughter and has had experience working the street and as a private escort; and for Mawulisa, who is originally from Adelaide and nowadays works mostly in brothels in Sydney, it was a combination of a rebellion against her Catholic upbringing as well as a desire to explore human sexuality and have a job that wouldn't compromise her "morally", such as working for a multinational corporation.
In addition to the obvious perks of earning substantial amounts of money and working flexible hours (particularly useful for those with children), there are other positive aspects to being a whore. "Very few traditional women's jobs involve as much physicality as sex work," Mawulisa says. "Using your body to produce an effect on a client can feel really empowering. Engaging with the strength and skills of your body can increase your feelings of capability in ways that extend beyond work, or indeed sex. I haven't found very many other experiences that make me feel as skilled and as in control or as confident as when I'm sex working mindfully and successfully."
Angel agrees. "I was very shy and insecure and sex work taught me a lot about communicating with people on different levels…and becoming confident in who I was and how I presented myself."
Naturally no job is perfect, and prostitution is no exception. But dirty or cheap clients, having sex with 'ugly' men and the potential for danger are way down the list of downsides for many women. They are more concerned with the social stigma attached to the profession, which in turn allows oppressive laws and even the blackmail and sexual assault of sex workers by police as well as clients.
This stigma, especially when it comes from within the lesbian community, means many women feel the need to keep one foot inside the scarlet closet. "I was so proud when I first entered the sex industry," says Angel. "I was proud to be a feminist, sex-positive, queer sex worker and I wanted to tell people - I wanted to share that experience of empowerment. It was only as time went by and I realised that people weren't all as progressive as I optimistically thought that I began to be more selective about who I told and more cagey about what information I'd give away. If I am reluctant to be forthcoming about it, it is out of self-preservation rather than shame - the unwillingness, after just four years, to be stigmatised. Sometimes I just don't want to bother with it, which is what sex worker phobia does - it silences people, the same way homophobia does."
So, the next time you meet a woman you fancy and it transpires she's a lesbian and a prostitute, keep an open mind and put your prejudices aside for a moment. You may find you'll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome. "I had a gorgeous butch babe tell me that me being a hooker really turned her on and we went home and had mind-blowing sex for three days," Pinwell recalls. "Queer whores are so exciting, passionate, gorgeous women!"
LOTL is Australia's national lesbian magazine covering. For more information visit the magazine's website at www.lotl.com
